How Joe Met Barbara.

       Mum and dad did not meet until they had reached their thirties. They had each been married before and both had known great sorrow and grief.
     Dad's young wife had died giving birth to their son, Leonard. It was not possible for dad to care for his son and work, so Leonard stayed with his maternal grand parents while dad travelled the country as a journey-man painter and decorator.
    Mum was a widow with three young children, Sarah, Beatrice and Jack. Her husband, Walter Moore had emigrated to Winnipeg, Canada, joining other members of his family who were already there. He had been there a year and had saved enough money to pay for mum and the children to join him when he suffered  a fatal accident at his place of work.
    Mum was on the verge of leaving for Canada. She had already packed up and sent off all the smaller household items, such as ornaments, cutlery, crockery and bed-linen. She and the children were staying with her mother, her sister Annie and brother Sam until she and the children were due to sail.
   My mother was devastated, heart-broken. She and Walt had already lost their three year old son, [also Leonard], to diphtheria; now his father was gone too. In just an instant her life had changed completely. Fate had robbed her of loved ones and she now had to provide for herself and remaining children.
   Thinking that a young widow could not possibly care for her children and go out to work as well, several people asked if they could have one of the children. Walt's family in Canada wanted her to send Jack out to them. A farming family that mum knew also wanted Jack but would take one of the girls instead, they said.
   Deeply distressed, she told her mother, " I don't want to give my children away". "Then don't, lass", grandma said, "We'll manage together somehow".
    Unable to afford a home of her own she and the children stayed on at her mother's. Grandma looked after the children while mum went out to work. She took a cleaning job for a lady called Mrs. Cusworth who ran a boarding house for "Theatricals", as Mrs. C. called them. These were troupes of travelling players who put on their plays and operatics in the local theatre for a week or two before moving on. Mum found this fascinating as she loved the theatre. There were other guests who came and went and for a time dad was one of them. He was travelling around the country, painting railway stations and lodged with Mrs. Cusworth while working in Brighouse, mum's home town.

Francis Joseph Parkyn

   One day, the lodgers were seated round the table having a meal when someone dropped a spoon under the table. Mother crawled underneath to retrieve it, saw dad's big toe poking out of a hole in his sock and could not resist giving it a tickle. If dad's interest in this rather lovely young widow had not already been taken, it certainly was now.

Barbara Parkyn with Jack Moore and Cyril Parkyn

   
Jack was around three years old and mum often took him with her to Mrs. Cusworth's who was quite happy to have him around. Not long after the toe incident Mrs. C called mum saying, "Come and look at this, Barbara". She took her upstairs and there was dad, his arm around Jack  who was snuggled up beside him, both of them fast asleep. That clinched it for mum and the rest, as they say, is history. The rest being marriage, four more sons, Cyril, Arthur, Laurence and Eric and two daughters, Barbara and Eileen; that's me in case you don't know; the youngest, the baby of the family.  

Dad's son, Leonard, stayed with his grand-parents. It must have been a great sadness for dad, giving up his eldest son. In the end he did it for the grand-parents. They loved Leonard so much and had cared for him since birth, they could not bear to be parted from him. Leonard was happy with them so dad thought it was for the best. He visited them whenever he could and I think two of my brothers met Leonard when they were older but I am sad to say that I never did.   
                     

   Dad originally came from Sheffield and was one of eleven children. His father, William Henry Parkin was a master tailor and the family was comfortably off. Dad's eldest brother, Herbert and sister Florence both played and taught piano and brother Fred had his own bakery. 

William Henry Parkin  - Master Tailor

Jennie Parkin - Joe's sister

Emma Parkin - Joe's mother

Although dad talked about his family the only ones he visited were two of his sisters who lived in Cleethorpes, a seaside town lower down on the east coast. For some reason we younger children never met any of dad's family and did not question this as we were growing up. Travel was much more difficult then and money was tight. I expect we couldn't afford the fares. The furthest we ever travelled was on a day trip to Scarborough on the Working Men's Club outing, which was free, and to my maternal grandma's at Brighouse, sixty miles away and that was once a year, during the summer holidays, when we spent several glorious weeks with Grandma, Aunt Annie and our Brighouse cousins. 

At Brighouse with the family

   Dad was very gentlemanly. He always wore decent suits with waistcoat, a shirt and a tie. When he went out he put on a brown trilby hat and soft brown leather boots. He was exceedingly proud of all his family and carried snapshots of everyone wherever he went. They would be taken out and shown to complete strangers at every opportunity. [Not unlike Facebook, actually!]

   I think dad missed his travelling days. Every so often his feet started to get itchy and he would look for an excuse to take the huff at something or other, declare that, "Nobody around here cares about me!" and take himself off to visit his sisters in Cleethorpes for few weeks: after helping himself to a bit of cash that mum kept in the corner of a drawer. It was enough to cover his fare and a little to spare. Mum, however, had another little stash that dad didn't know about as she knew that she would be without housekeeping for the first week or two of dad's absence.
 Dad always found work and sent money home. He never stayed away for too long and would turn up again, without notice, strolling in through the door to be greeted with,"Now then Joe, dinner's almost ready", as if he had only been gone for a few hours. I know mum felt aggrieved at times but I don't think she minded too much, all her family was around her and she was content.
  We all followed mum's lead, glad to see dad, who in turn was happy to be back in the bosom of his family once more. We treated dad's moods with a kind of indulgent amusement. We knew that he loved us all.